"So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work."

Funny, Work, Day, Play

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"So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work."

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"If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress."

Will Rogers, American Actor

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"It's a funny thing about life; if you refuse to accept anything but the best, you very often get it."

W. Somerset Maugham, British Playwright

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"I got a lot of support from my parents. That's the one thing I always appreciated. They didn't tell me I was being stupid; they told me I was being funny."

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"Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else."

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"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

George Bernard Shaw, Irish Dramatist

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"The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' but 'That's funny...'"

Isaac Asimov, American Scientist

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"We sat down and told stories that happened to us in our childhood, to our children. They were all basically based on the truth. These stories were funny and poignant to us. They just took off. These are all stories from my life."

Howie Mandel, Canadian Comedian

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"The funny thing about commercials to me is that many of them now don't even mention the product until the very end. You don't really know what the commercial is all about. They're kind of like little movies, like shorts, and that's why I think they're so entertaining."

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"You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks about it much, but it's curious that they don't do it. They would each have to be asked the reason why they don't."

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Explore more quotes by Joseph Bologna

"Most people would rather stay home and watch Casablanca for the fourth time or the 10th time on Turner Classic Movies than go see Matrix 12 or whatever the hell the flavor of the month is."

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"You know, people come up with formulas who are uncreative. They can't picture something different so they can only go by something that's laid out for them."

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"The stage is suspension of disbelief. Film is a literal medium."

Film

"Why can't she move in with you? Is she against that? She's not a Mormon or anything, is she?"

Mormon

"My favorite actors when I was a kid were in their '60s. Spencer Tracy, Humphrey Bogart, John Wayne."

Actor

"I think grown-ups don't go to movies because they're much more discerning."

Movies

"I keep working mainly because my wife and I spend most of our time touring the country doing our own plays."

Time

"When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny or not. It was either entertaining or not. It was either exciting or not. It was either thrilling or not."

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"I get up in the morning, do my e-mail, I check my e-mails all day. I'll go online and I'll buy my books at Amazon.com, but I don't want to buy all of them because I want to go to Duttons and I want to buy books from another human being."

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"My favorite comedians were Jimmy Durante, George Burns, senior citizens."

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