"A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian."

Christian, Being, Drinking, Gambling

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"A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian."

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"Almost every sect of Christianity is a perversion of its essence, to accommodate it to the prejudices of the world."

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"Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important."

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"I know Jesus Christ died for my sins, and that's all I really need to know."

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"I hate to see complacency prevail in our lives when it's so directly contrary to the teaching of Christ."

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Explore more quotes by Artie Lange

"I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking."

Lie

"It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world."

Funny

"The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent."

Talent

"I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life."

Life

"The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation."

Drink

"Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time."

Happiness

"I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say."

Movies

"I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust."

Time

"By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long."

Age

"And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard."

Money