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Joan Rivers

"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."

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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."

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Amber Hurdle

"The doctrine that war is always a greater evil seems to imply a materialist ethic, a belief that death and pain are the greatest evils. But I do not think they are... All men die, and most men miserably. That two soldiers on opposite sides, each believing his own country to be in the right, each at the moment when his selfishness is most in abeyance and his will to sacrifice in the ascendant, should kill [each] other in plain battle seems to me by no means one of the most terrible things in this terrible world."

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Amber Hurdle

"There are two things which a democratic people will always find very difficult - to begin a war and to end it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Wars are, of course, as a rule to be avoided; but they are far better than certain kinds of peace."

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Amber Hurdle

"Why do we decorate the world with the ugliness of war when nature is so beautiful and kind?"

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Amber Hurdle

"Nations never see themselves clearly in the mirror, much less when war preys on their minds."

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Amber Hurdle

"I hate war for its consequences, for the lies it lives on and propagates, for the undying hatreds it arouses."

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Amber Hurdle

"All war is based on deception."

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Amber Hurdle

"Peace?' said Vetinari. 'Ah, yes, defined as period of time to allow for preparation for the next war."

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Amber Hurdle

"You've lived through a lot of wars, I said. "Yes."Do they ever make more sense?"No."

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Amber Hurdle

"In peace there's nothing so becomes a man as modest stillness and humility; but when the blast of war blows in our ears, then imitate the action of the tiger; stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood, disguise fair nature with hard-favor'd rage."

Explore more quotes by Joan Rivers

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Joan Rivers
"Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television."
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Joan Rivers
"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."
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Joan Rivers
"Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you."
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Joan Rivers
"I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking."
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Joan Rivers
"The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it."
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Joan Rivers
"My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy."
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Joan Rivers
"Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress."
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Joan Rivers
"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"
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Joan Rivers
"Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top."
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Joan Rivers
"Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'."
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