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Joan Rivers

"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."

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"She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven."

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Amber Hurdle

"In war, when a commander becomes so bereft of reason and perspective that he fails to understand the dependence of arms on Divine guidance, he no longer deserves victory."

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Amber Hurdle

"In war there is no prize for runner-up."

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Amber Hurdle

"War is peace. Freedom is slavery. Ignorance is strength."

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Amber Hurdle

"War is evil, but it is often the lesser evil."

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Amber Hurdle

"The quickest way of ending a war is to lose it."

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Amber Hurdle

"Look now -- in all of history men have been taught that killing of men is an evil thing not to be countenanced. Any man who kills must be destroyed because this is a great sin, maybe the worst we know. And then we take a soldier and put murder in his hands and we say to him, "use it well, use it wisely." We put no checks on him. Go out and kill as many of a certain kind or classification of your brothers as you can. And we will reward you for it because it is a violation of your early training."

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Amber Hurdle

"There were people who gave everything they had to the war because it was the last war and by winning it we would remove war like a thorn from the flesh of the world and there wouldn't be any more such horrible nonsense."

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Amber Hurdle

"That's the attractive thing about war, said Rosewater. "Absolutely everybody gets a little something."

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Amber Hurdle

"Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week."

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Amber Hurdle

"There was murder, there was rape, there were unspeakable practices, and all of them were for the good, the bloody good, the bloody myth, for the grail, for the Tower."

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Joan Rivers
"My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on."
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Joan Rivers
"Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer."
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Joan Rivers
"It's been so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up whom."
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Joan Rivers
"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp."
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Joan Rivers
"The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found."
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Joan Rivers
"Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds."
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Joan Rivers
"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'"
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Joan Rivers
"Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be."
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Joan Rivers
"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."
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Joan Rivers
"Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too."
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