"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."

Humor, Choices, Crisis, Fight

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"In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"I've accepted the fact I have mental illness but when my imaginary friends start calling me crazy that's where I draw the line."

Stanley Victor Paskavich, American Politician

Humor, Mental, Friend, Imagination

"Got a lot of sinful idears--but they seem kinda sensible."

John Steinbeck, American Author

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"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

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"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

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"I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing."

Jonathan Swift, Irish Writer

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"If they gave him an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

Humor, Death, Sarcasm, Mortality

"Name the greatest of all inventors: Accident."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Accident, Creativity, Surprise

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

Explore more quotes by Robert Orben

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"Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

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"Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work."

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"With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!"

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"Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success."

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"Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected."

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"Most people would like to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch."

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"Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down."

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"More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments."

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