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"We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture."
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"Gay Liberation? I ain't against it, it's just that there's nothing in it for me."

"And I used to go the punk clubs such as a gay club in Poland Street that everyone would go to because it was the only place you could go to looking like that without getting beaten senseless."

"An awful lot of gay pop stars pretend to be straight. I'm going to start a movement of straight pop stars pretending to be gay."

"The big gay clubs like Heaven started having mixed nights in the late '80s."

"I've never really worked on them. Just once in a while one hits me and makes me laugh. My Al Gore was sort of like a gay Gomer Pyle."
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"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."


"I believe Ronald Reagan can make this country what it once was... a large Arctic region covered with ice."


"When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?"


"Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!"
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