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"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."
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"If you say a word against a 'sensitive' person, it will have an immediate effect. In reality, words are simply a 'record' playing."

"The world's most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife."

"I consider looseness with words no less of a defect than looseness of the bowels."

"My buildings don't speak in words but by means of their own spaciousness."
Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly

"I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered."

"It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things."

"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."

"I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God, but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do."

"I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far."
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