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"I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless."
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"I consider looseness with words no less of a defect than looseness of the bowels."
"The world's most lethal venom is not found on the tongues of serpents, but on the tongues of a disgruntled wife."
"A million words were going through my head and honestly I didn't say one of them. I wanted to let it sit, simmer, you know I wanted to soak it all in - the moment was amazing."
"If you say a word against a 'sensitive' person, it will have an immediate effect. In reality, words are simply a 'record' playing."
Explore more quotes by Billy Connolly
"I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they're delightful. They all want so little."
"I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered."
"The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know."
"I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far."
"It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things."
"I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of myself and my imagination as I used to be."
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