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"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
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"The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In the business always talk to decision makers only, it will save your time and will get you the deal."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Business is the salt of life."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Marketing is safe. Sales is risky. UNLESS, marketing has done its job. Then sales is safe too."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To me everything in business boils down to this: do you genuinely care about your customers - or just their cash?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"The nonessential employees, the type of workers whom remain at home when it snows, are the quickest to complain about how the talented persons of an organization behave."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The competition is out to get you. Are you a moving target or a sitting duck? Innovate or die."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One of the biggest secrets of success is delegation. Exactly the method Sir Richard Branson uses! If it helped him become a billionaire businessman then it is worth utilizing in your own life/business, etc."
Author Name
Personal Development
"A fair price for oil is whatever you can get plus ten to twenty per cent."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The most successful businesses have leaders that see the correlation between customer service and sales. not as separate departments, but as complimentary components for growth."
Author Name
Personal Development
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"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"
Wrong
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
Work
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"
Children
"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."
Night
"I'd like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart."
People
"I love blackjack. But I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi circle."
Love
"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
Business
"I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs."
Soccer
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."
Cause
"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
Time
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