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"I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit."
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"I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later."
Dream
"Why is Cloud 9 so amazing? What is wrong with Cloud 8? That joke came off the top of my head, and the top of my head ain't funny!"
Wrong
"I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle."
Water
"I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down."
Cause
"Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!"
Children
"I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle."
Gambling
"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
Tennis
"I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific."
Night
"I had a stick of CareFree gum, but it didn't work. I felt pretty good while I was blowing that bubble, but as soon as the gum lost its flavor, I was back to pondering my mortality."
Work
"I bought a seven-dollar pen because I always lose pens and I got sick of not caring."
Caring
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"Innovation is the change, Change Management needs to be an integral part of innovation management."
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Personal Development
"The profession of book writing makes horse racing seem like a solid, stable business."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In the business always talk to decision makers only, it will save your time and will get you the deal."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In the business world cooperation is essential."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Business is the salt of life."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Marketing is safe. Sales is risky. UNLESS, marketing has done its job. Then sales is safe too."
Author Name
Personal Development
"To me everything in business boils down to this: do you genuinely care about your customers - or just their cash?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"The nonessential employees, the type of workers whom remain at home when it snows, are the quickest to complain about how the talented persons of an organization behave."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The competition is out to get you. Are you a moving target or a sitting duck? Innovate or die."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Find your hidden talents, your hidden potentials, your hidden purposes and convert them into a better business for the benefit of the entire world."
Author Name
Personal Development
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