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"Behind every argument is someone's ignorance."
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"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."

"To make the argument that the media has a left- or right-wing, or a liberal or a conservative bias, is like asking if the problem with Al-Qaeda is do they use too much oil in their hummus."

"Could I interrupt here, because there is an alternative explanation, which you are particularly well placed to examine. You know the argument that it is the alchemists in the laboratories who invent the sweet new kits."

"You never need an argument against the use of violence, you need an argument for it."

"It is true that Mr. Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation, after which there was a commitment to give 40 acres and a mule. That's where the argument, to this day, of reparations starts. We never got the 40 acres. We went all the way to Herbert Hoover, and we never got the 40 acres. We didn't get the mule. So we decided we'd ride this donkey as far as it would take us."

"He who establishes his argument by noise and command shows that his reason is weak."

"That's what we're missing. We're missing argument. We're missing debate. We're missing colloquy. We're missing all sorts of things. Instead, we're accepting."

"Similes prove nothing, but yet greatly lighten and relieve the tedium of argument."
Explore more quotes by Robert Benchley


"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."


"A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated."


"Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous."


"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."


"It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous."


"The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon."


"A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death."


"Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street and not to have the impulse to rush downstairs and out on to the sidewalk."
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