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Spike Milligan

"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."

Spike Milligan, Irish Comedian
God, Electricity, Light
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"And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected."

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"God was satisfied with his own work, and that is fatal."

Samuel Butler, British Poet
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"Small amounts of philosophy lead to atheism, but larger amounts bring us back to God."

Francis Bacon, English Philosopher
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"God is not on the side of the big battalions, but on the side of those who shoot best."

Voltaire, French Writer
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"If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him."

Voltaire, French Writer
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"The reader becomes God, for all textual purposes. I see your eyes glazing over, so I'll hush."

David Foster Wallace, American Writer
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"It is quite true, as some poets said, that the God who created man must have had a sinister sense of humor, creating him a reasonable being, yet forcing him to take this ridiculous posture, and driving him with blind craving for this ridiculous performance."

David Herbert Lawrence, English Writer
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"God's dice always have a lucky roll."

Sophocles, Greek Poet
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"I am as bad as the worst, but, thank God, I am as good as the best."

Walt Whitman, American Poet
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"You know what the Englishman's idea of compromise is? He says, Some people say there is a God. Some people say there is no God. The truth probably lies somewhere between these two statements."

William Butler Yeats, Irish Poet
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Asa Don Brown

"Man is an exception, whatever else he is. If he is not the image of God, then he is a disease of the dust. If it is not true that a divine being fell, then we can only say that one of the animals went entirely off its head."

Gilbert K. Chesterton, English Writer
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"It was a perfect marriage. She didn't want to and he couldn't."
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"For ten years Caesar ruled with an iron hand. Then with a wooden foot, and finally with a piece of string."
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"All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy."
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"I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge."
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"I shook hands with a friendly Arab. I still have my right arm to prove it."
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"Money couldn't buy friends, but you got a better class of enemy."
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"Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery."
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"A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree."
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"How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven."
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"Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it's all in perfect working order."
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