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Jonathan Swift

"He put this engine [a silver pocket watch] into our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life."

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"He put this engine [a silver pocket watch] into our ears, which made an incessant noise, like that of a water-mill: and we conjecture it is either some unknown animal, or the god that he worships; but we are more inclined to the latter opinion, because he assured us, (if we understood him right, for he expressed himself very imperfectly) that he seldom did any thing without consulting it. He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life."

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"Morning dawns when the grace overcomes nature."

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"Human brutes, like other beasts, find snares and poison in the provision of life, and are allured by their appetites to their destruction."
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"Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions."
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"Most sorts of diversion in men, children and other animals, are in imitation of fighting."
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"Better belly burst than good liquor be lost."
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"Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly."
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"The want of belief is a defect that ought to be concealed when it cannot be overcome."
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"Good manners is the art of making those people easy with whom we converse. Whoever makes the fewest people uneasy is the best bred in the room."
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Jonathan Swift
"My nose itched, and I knew I should drink wine or kiss a fool."
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Jonathan Swift
"A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying... that he is wiser today than yesterday."
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"It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind."
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