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Craig Ferguson

"I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'"

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"I dropped out of high school when I was 16, after I had a huge argument with my English teacher over the meaning of the word 'existentialism.'"

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Amber Hurdle

"If I ever form a clan, we'll be the anti-cheerleaders and walk under the bleacher forming mild acts of mayhem."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Every man who has in his soul a secret feeling of revolt against any act of the State, of life, or of destiny, is on the verge of riot; and so soon as it appears, he begins to quiver, and to feel himself borne away by the whirlwind."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"I tell you, I'm half tempted to break into CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon out of CIA custody just so I can break Joe Solomon."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"The enemy for the fanatic is pleasure, which makes it extremely important to continue to indulge in pleasure. Dance madly. That is how you get rid of terrorism."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"My parents were dismayed by my love of horror movies as a young girl, then even more dismayed when I kept rooting for Dracula to win instead of Van Helsing."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"Never close your hands in the face of evil fate, get up and rebel against it."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"In times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings--artists, scientists, clowns and philosophers--to create order. In times such as ours, however, when there is too much order, too much management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relive the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption."

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Personal Development

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Amber Hurdle

"There was no burger so soggy that he would not eat it. No tequila so mean that he would not drink it. No car so covered with birdshit and rust that he would not drive it around town (and if it were a convertible, he'd have the top down, even in rain, even in snow). There was no flag he would not desecrate, no true believer he would not mock, no song he wouldn't sign off-key, no dental appointment he wouldn't break, no child he wouldn't do tricks for, no old person he wouldn't help in from the cold, no moon he wouldn't lie under..."

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Amber Hurdle

"Geniuses and supergeniuses always make their own rules about sex as on everything else, they do not accept the monkey customs of their lessers."

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Amber Hurdle

"Don't let the man bring you down."

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Craig Ferguson
"I realized women and humor were linked very closely."

Humor

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Craig Ferguson
"Jimmy put in a word and told them that if I made it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself without paying them back. That I'd sooner die than owe anyone money for helping me. Apparently Jimmy knew more about me at that point than I knew about myself."

Life

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Craig Ferguson
"Allowances can always be made for your friends to disagree with you. Disagreement, vehement disagreement, is healthy. Debate is impossible without it. Evil does not question itself, only hope questions itself. Even the incorruptible are corruptible if they cannot accept the possibility of being mistaken. Infallibility is a sin in any man. All laws can be broken and are. Often. Like when a bumblebee flies or an ancient regime is toppled."

Philosophy

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Craig Ferguson
"I'm reading a book, because I'm brainy. No, it is a book - if you don't know, it is like a blog except bigger."

Humor

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Craig Ferguson
"Sometimes people think you're smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else."

Intelligence

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Craig Ferguson
"On that same tour we ran into a band at Aylesbury Friars, a biggish venue in Oxfordshire, England. They were a four - piece from Ireland called U2. They seemed like nice fellows and they sounded pretty good, but we didn't keep in touch. They're probably taxi drivers and accountants by now."

Music

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Craig Ferguson
"When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English."

Humor

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Craig Ferguson
"Thanks cows. I appreciate your tastiness."

Humor

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Craig Ferguson
"Every day I ran to that book like it was a bottle of whiskey and crawled inside because it was a world that I had at least some control over, and slowly, in time, it began to take shape."

Books

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Craig Ferguson
"I knew that I had been partially right in the storeroom above the bar on Christmas Day. Whoever I had become had to die."

Transformation

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