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"I'm a traveling practical joker. That's my line of work."
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"That most limited of all specialists, the "well-rounded man"."
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Personal Development
"The world system is employment."
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Personal Development
"A butler supplies food to nourish your body, but a writer nourishes your mind through writing."
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Personal Development
"Do not be weary to make money."
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Personal Development
"Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays."
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Personal Development
"Work was intended not to give a man a reason to live, but rather to give him a means to live."
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Personal Development
"Be robust enough to work more than a robot!"
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Personal Development
"Being happy at work is possible for all of us, anytime & anywhere, with open eyes and a caring heart."
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Personal Development
"Back then, work revolved around life. Today, life revolves around work."
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Personal Development
"Do all the work you while you still have strength."
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Personal Development
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"The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Barbra Streisand, Bruce Springsteen, these are just some of the people who threatened to sue if we used their songs."
People
"To be a dramatic writer takes hard work, talent, and discipline. And that's why I just make up crap."
Work
"The people who influenced me most were the people who said I would never make it. They gave me a thirst for revenge."
People
"As a kid I watched television 24 hours a day and loved every minute of it. The two shows that always make me laugh and are therefore my favourites are The Dick Van Dyke Show and Fawlty Towers."
Day
"Hey, Ryan, if Sting retires, will he change his name to Stung?"
Change
"Onstage I do all the stuff I'd never do in real life, like lashing out at people who make me mad or freaking out in a long bank lineup. Performing allows me to fulfill all the sicko fantasies I've ever had."
Life
"When I'm on stage, it's a little world I've created where I'm sort of the thing, so I have total control over everything that happens. When we're improvising, I'm with someone I totally trust. I know things are going to work out. I don't have those guarantees in life. There are no consequences on stage."
Work
"We want to be funny. We want to make people laugh... We'll do whatever it takes."
Funny
"Give me liberty or a bran muffin!"
Liberty
"You know, in the 1970's, when I was in high school, I belonged to a band called the Happy Funk Band. Until an unfortunate typo caused us to be expelled from school."
School
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