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"Man is the only creature that consumes without producing. He does not give milk, he does not lay eggs, he is too weak to pull the plough, he cannot run fast enough to catch rabbits. Yet he is lord of all the animals."

"If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much."

"Reason number 106 why dogs are smarter than humans: once you leave the litter, you sever contact with your mothers."

"Brute animals have the vowel sounds; man only can utter consonants."
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