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Bill Bryson

"Finally, this being America, there is the constant possibility of murder."

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"Finally, this being America, there is the constant possibility of murder."

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Amber Hurdle

"Foulmouthed individuals seem to have their neuron systems replaced by colon structures, given that their terminology profusely consists of "sh*t and f*ck". ['Tolerance zero']"

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Amber Hurdle

"The walls, where there was room, were well decorated with calendars and posters showing bright, improbable girls with pumped-up breasts and no hips - blondes, brunettes and redheads, but always with this bust development, so that a visitor of another species might judge from the preoccupation of artist and audience that the seat of procreation lay in the mammaries. Alice Chicoy...who worked among the shining girls, was wide-hipped and sag-chested and she walked well back on her heels...She was not in the least jealous of the calendar girls and the Coca-Cola girls. She had never seen anyone like them, and she didn't think anyone ever had."

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Amber Hurdle

"Many buy gadgets they don't really need, with money they don't have, for people they don't actually care for, while infringing their corporeal and financial capacities, in order to pay doctors and psychiatrists.['Keeping up with the Joneses']"

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Amber Hurdle

"But whenever one meets modern thinkers (as one often does) progressing towards a madhouse, one always finds, on inquiry, that they have just had a splendid escape from another madhouse. Thus, hundreds of people become Socialists, not because they have tried Socialism and found it nice, but because they have tried Individualism and found it nasty."

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Amber Hurdle

"Back in the day, it was either both a mother and her daughter had pubic hair, or the daughter didn't. Today, in many a case, the mother is the one who doesn't."

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Amber Hurdle

"There is nothing in the record of the past two years when both Houses of Congress have been controlled by the Republican Party which can lead any person to believe that those promises will be fulfilled in the future. They follow the Hitler line - no matter how big the lie, repeat it often enough and the masses will regard it as truth."

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Amber Hurdle

"Will liked to live so that no one could find fault with him, and to do that he had to live as nearly like other people as possible."

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Amber Hurdle

"Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems, in my opinion, to characterize our age."

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Amber Hurdle

"If men could only know each other, they would neither idolize nor hate."

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Amber Hurdle

"I used to jog but it's bad for the knees. Too much beta carotene turns you orange, too much calcium gives you kidney stones. Health kills."

Explore more quotes by Bill Bryson

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Bill Bryson
"There'd never been a more advantageous time to be a criminal in America than during the 13 years of Prohibition. At a stroke, the American government closed down the fifth largest industry in the United States - alcohol production - and just handed it to criminals - a pretty remarkable thing to do."
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Bill Bryson
"Linguist say parties in the conversation will tolerate silence for four seconds before interjecting anything, however unrelated."
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Bill Bryson
"It is not true that the English invented cricket as a way of making all other human endeavors look interesting and lively, that was merely an unintended side effect."
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Bill Bryson
"There are three stages in scientific discovery. First, people deny that it is true, then they deny that it is important; finally they credit the wrong person."
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Bill Bryson
"One idea to a sentence is still the best advice that anyone has ever given on writing."
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Bill Bryson
"A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things."
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Bill Bryson
"It wasn't until we dropped him at his university dormitory and left him there looking touchingly lost and bewildered amid an assortment of cardboard boxes and suitcases in a spartan room not unlike a prison cell that it really hit home that he was vanishing out of our lives and into his own."
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Bill Bryson
"Thoreau was an idiot."
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Bill Bryson
"Consider the Lichen. Lichens are just about the hardiest visible organisms on Earth, but the least ambitious."
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Bill Bryson
"In my day the principal concerns of university students were sex, smoking dope, rioting and learning. Learning was something you did only when the first three weren't available."
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