"I'm a holy man minus the holiness."

Humor, Holiness, Man

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"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Beginning, Word

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

Explore more quotes by E. M. Forster

"She stopped and leant her elbows against the parapet of the embankment. He did likewise. There is at times a magic in identity of position, it is one of the things that have suggested to us eternal comradeship."

Companionship

"Books have to be read (worse luck, for it takes a long time); it is the only way of discovering what they contain."

Knowledge

"I'd far rather leave a thought behind me than a child. Other people can have children."

Legacy

"For our vanity is such that we hold our own characters immutable, and we are slow to acknowledge that they have changed, even for the better."

Growth

"Ladies sheltering behind men, men sheltering behind servants - the whole system's wrong, and she must challenge it."

Equality

"What is wonderful about great literature is that it transforms the man who reads it towards the condition of the man who wrote."

Literature

"It is my fate and perhaps my temperament to sign agreements with fools."

Fate

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Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Explore more quotes by E. M. Forster

"She stopped and leant her elbows against the parapet of the embankment. He did likewise. There is at times a magic in identity of position, it is one of the things that have suggested to us eternal comradeship."

"Books have to be read (worse luck, for it takes a long time); it is the only way of discovering what they contain."

"I'd far rather leave a thought behind me than a child. Other people can have children."

"For our vanity is such that we hold our own characters immutable, and we are slow to acknowledge that they have changed, even for the better."

"We move between two darknesses."

"Only connect!"

"Surely the only sound foundation for a civilization is a sound state of mind."

"Ladies sheltering behind men, men sheltering behind servants - the whole system's wrong, and she must challenge it."

"What is wonderful about great literature is that it transforms the man who reads it towards the condition of the man who wrote."

"It is my fate and perhaps my temperament to sign agreements with fools."