"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

Family, Argument, Night

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"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

Exlpore more Family quotes

"I am sure that if the mothers of various nations could meet, there would be no more wars."

E. M. Forster, English Novelist

Family, Mothers, Nations

"It's funny how two people can grow up in the same town, go to the same school, have the same friends, and end up so totally different. Family, or lack of it, counts for more than you'd think."

Sarah Dessen, American Author

Family, Identity, People, Life

"Mother is the center of the family, everyone else surrounds her."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Family, Mother, Center, Surrounds

"There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it."

Erma Bombeck, American Journalist

Family, Mother, Water, Wrong

"Behind all your stories is always your mother's story. Because hers is where yours begin."

Mitch Albom, American Writer

Family, Mother, Story, Beginning, Life

"If you don't have the support and love and caring and connection that you get from a family, you don't have much at all."

Mitch Albom, American Writer

Family, Support, Love, Caring

"I tell you, families are definitely the training ground for forgiveness."

Anne Lamott, American Author

Family, Forgiveness, Training, Life

"Don't say negative things about your spouse and children."

Jaachynma N.E. Agu, Nigerian Author

Family, Respect, Positivity, Speech

"Our acts make or mar us, we are the children of our own deeds."

Victor Hugo, French Author

Family, Children, Deeds

"Right, except I'm not going to lie to my mom, because what kind of bastard lies to his own mother?"

John Green, American Author

Family, Honesty, Respect, Truth

Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid."

Relationship

"In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem."

Society

"I'm happy to tell you there is very little in this world that I believe in."

Philosophy

"Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid. Then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same words that hurt can heal. It's a matter of how you pick them."

Philosophy

"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."

Philosophy

"Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple."

Life

"I can remember staring at the orphanage and feeling envy."

Emotion

"How can He be perfect? Everything He ever makes...dies."

Philosophy

"I'm not a person who thinks they can have it all, but I certainly feel that with a bit of effort and guile I should be able to have more than my fair share."

Success

"It turned out I was pretty good in science. But again, because of the small budget, in science class we couldn't afford to do experiments in order to prove theories. We just believed everything. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. Religion class was always an easy class. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes."

Education