"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

Family, Argument, Night

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"The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going."

Exlpore more Family quotes

"But, as my mother used to tell me, two wrongs don't make a right. But I soon figured out that three left turns do."

Jim Hightower, American Activist

Family, Mother, Right, Wrongs

"That great Cathedral space which was childhood."

Virginia Woolf, British Author

Family, Childhood, Space

"Here is the real domino theory - gay man to gay man, bisexual man to straight woman, addict mother to newborn baby, they all fall down and someday it will come to you."

Anna Quindlen, American Journalist

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"Mrs. Binnie says we throw out more with a spoon than the men can be bringing in with a shovel...Binnie-like. Our men like the good living. And what if we don't be having too much money, Patsy dear? Sure and we do have lashings of things no money could be buying. There'll be enough squeezed out for Cuddles when the time comes. The Good Man Above will be seeing to that."

L. M. Montgomery, Canadian Author

Family, Gratitude, Poverty, Faith

"Parents are always more knowledgeable than their children, and children are always smarter than their parents."

Jonathan Safran Foer, American Novelist

Family, Parenting, Children, Knowledge, Wisdom

"A new universe is born whenever a new baby is born."

Debasish Mridha, American Author

Family, Baby, New Life, Creation

"I've met plenty of embarrassing parents, but Kronos, the evil Titan Lord who wanted to destroy Western Civilization? Not the kind of dad you invited toschool for Career Day."

Rick Riordan, American Novelist

Family, Humor, Truth, Life, Power

"Of course, everyone's parents are embarrassing. It goes with the territory. The nature of parents is to embarrass merely by existing, just as it is the nature of children of a certain age to cringe with embarrassment, shame, and mortification should their parents so much as speak to them on the street."

Neil Gaiman, British Author

Family, Embarrassment, Parents, Children, Truth

"Children forget that sometimes. They think of themselves as a burden instead of a wish granted."

Mitch Albom, American Writer

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"A father gives his child nothing better than a good education."

Anonymous, Unknown Unknown

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Explore more quotes by George Carlin

"I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his shoes. Now I feel better."

Humor

"I bet you anything that 10 times out of 10, Nicky, Vinny and Tony will beat the shit out of Todd, Kyle and Tucker."

Strategy

"I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up."

Philosophy

"Once you leave out all the bullshit they teach you in school, life gets really simple."

Life

"It's important in life if you don't give a shit. It can help you a lot."

Philosophy

"You're just another american who is willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick being shoved up your asshole every day... The owners of this country know the truth... it's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it!"

Politics

"No matter how you care to define it, I do not identify with the local group. Planet, species, race, nation, state, religion, party, union, club, association, neighborhood improvement committee; I have no interest in any of it. I love and treasure individuals as I meet them, I loathe and despise the groups they identify with and belong to."

Philosophy

"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."

Hell

"Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging people to volunteer in their communities? It's because volunteers work for no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time."

Society

"There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords."

Expression