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"Calling O'Hare an airport is like calling the Queen Elizabeth II a boat."
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"The only thing I want to say is, I know I'm not Einstein, but I'm not the queen of the imbeciles either."

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Explore more quotes by Andrew H. Malcolm

"A Chicago alderman once confessed he needed physical exercise but didn't like jogging, because in that sport you couldn't hit anyone."

"The car trip can draw the family together, as it was in the days before television when parents and children actually talked to each other."
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