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Darynda Jones

"Amador and Bianca have a great life that I'm only a little jealous of. They have two kids they bring to see me. His daughter, Ashlee, is almost five now. She has asked me to marry her when I get out. It feels kind of weird since she calls me Uncle Reyes and incest is frowned upon, but who am I to argue with true love?"

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"Amador and Bianca have a great life that I'm only a little jealous of. They have two kids they bring to see me. His daughter, Ashlee, is almost five now. She has asked me to marry her when I get out. It feels kind of weird since she calls me Uncle Reyes and incest is frowned upon, but who am I to argue with true love?"

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"Does Uncle Bob have anything?""I heard he has an STD.""I mean on the women.""Oh, I have no idea if they have any STDs."
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"If you can master the opening, you will be leaps and bounds ahead of the competition."
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"I'm currently unsupervised It frisks me out too but the possibilities are endless."
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"You do have a tendency to severe spinal cords.""Only for you."
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"I am apparently the complete opposite of a sociopath. (Seriously. I took a test.) WHEW!"
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"You totally need to watch the news.""Can't.""Why?""It's too depressing.""Right, because hanging with dead people isn't."
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"I know what kind of man it takes to get involved with something as barbarous as human trafficking."I get it, Swopes. He's not the kind of man you take home to meet yourstepmom. I rethought that. "Wait a minute. Maybe my stepmom would like to meet him. Do you think he ships to Istanbul?"
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"You rented the apartment with a dead guy in the corner? I shrugged. "I wanted the apartment, and I figured I could cover him up with a bookcase or something."
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"He was leaving my stepmother for a sailboat. Not that I blamed him. A sailboat would at least be useful."
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