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"As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office."
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"To fulfill a dream, to be allowed to sweat over lonely labor, to be given a chance to create, is the meat and potatoes of life. The money is the gravy."
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Personal Development
"Writing is not the easiest way to make a living. Your work long hours, usually all by yourself. It is not a way to make money."
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Personal Development
"When you do portraits professionally it's not a desire, it's for money."
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Personal Development
"I'd met a woman and I got married, but the money ran out right away. I hadn't had a job for seven months, and it just came over me that I was never going to work again. It hit me."
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Personal Development
"There's a correlation between the number of digits on a man's bank balance, and, the number of things that his woman is willing to forgive him for."
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Personal Development
"Just make as much money as you can, but try your best not to rob or get robbed, it will sweep all that you have and leave your hands empty."
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Personal Development
"No money is better spent than what is laid out for domestic satisfaction."
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Personal Development
"It is only if the primary or only reason you do what you do is to make money that you will envy every random person who made or makes a lot of money (or money that exceeds what you made or make)."
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Personal Development
"Among other possibilities, money was invented to make it possible for a foolish man to control wise men; a weak man, strong men; a child, old men; an ignorant man, knowledgeable men; and for a dwarf to control giants."
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Personal Development
"Man is smart - If money would have grown on trees, we would have used green leaves as money."
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"It is possible to read the history of this country as one long struggle to extend the liberties established in our Constitution to everyone in America."
History
"Being slightly paranoid is like being slightly pregnant - it tends to get worse."
Being
"Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful."
Satire
"The thing about democracy, beloveds, is that it is not neat, orderly, or quiet. It requires a certain relish for confusion."
Democracy
"As they say around the Texas Legislature, if you can't drink their whiskey, screw their women, take their money, and vote against 'em anyway, you don't belong in office."
Money
"I believe in practicing prudence at least once every two or three years."
Wisdom
"I dearly love the state of Texas, but I consider that a harmless perversion on my part, and discuss it only with consenting adults."
Love
"Next time I tell you someone from Texas should not be president of the United States, please pay attention."
Time
"Good thing we've still got politics in Texas - finest form of free entertainment ever invented."
Politics
"You can't ignore politics, no matter how much you'd like to."
Politics
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