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Steven Wright

"Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home."

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"Be nice to your children. After all, they are going to choose your nursing home."

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Asa Don Brown

"Father, I know you will hear me, I will speak."

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Asa Don Brown

"We come into the world through a man and a woman. But life blessings us with many fathers and mothers."

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Asa Don Brown

"A new baby is a bundle of hope, a smiling imagination, and a dancing dreams."

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Asa Don Brown

"The real beauty of a house is always the happiness inside that house!"

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Asa Don Brown

"A philanderer cannot be a parent - a parent cannot be a philanderer."

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Asa Don Brown

"We grow up opposing our parents only to become like them enough to oppose our children who behave as we once did-a reminder of how dreadful we were toward those now vindicated grandparents. And you thought God had no sense of humor."

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Asa Don Brown

"A healthy world is made of healthy nations. A healthy nation is made of healthy families. And a healthy family can only be raised on the foundation of a monogamous relationship."

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Asa Don Brown

"Grandchildren are their grandparents' toys."

Explore more quotes by Steven Wright

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Steven Wright
"The Bermuda Triangle got tired of warm weather. It moved to Alaska. Now Santa Claus is missing."
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Steven Wright
"I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second."
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Steven Wright
"A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths."
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Steven Wright
"I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything."
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Steven Wright
"I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car."
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Steven Wright
"I was a peripheral visionary. I could see the future, but only way off to the side."
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Steven Wright
"I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose."
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Steven Wright
"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
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Steven Wright
"My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant."
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Steven Wright
"I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it."
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