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"I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning."
Will,
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"I will watch everything that Cary Grant did, or Kubrick made or Bergman."
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Personal Development
"It ain't as bad as you think. It will look better in the morning."
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Personal Development
"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."
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Personal Development
"The ear disapproves but tolerates certain musical pieces; transfer them into the domain of our nose, and we will be forced to flee."
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Personal Development
"Enrolling in the Medicare Prescription Drug Program will be a great savings for most senior citizens."
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Personal Development
"You will go most safely in the middle."
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Personal Development
"Prejudices and preferences exist and will continue to. When you learn how to market yourself, you become less of a victim."
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Personal Development
"Cigarettes, I won't do cigarettes, nicotine will kill ya."
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Personal Development
"If you give, you will be blessed."
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Personal Development
"If your treat an individual... as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be."
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Personal Development
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"If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner."
Finance
"My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments."
Wife
"My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere."
Mother
"I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom."
Wisdom
"I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free."
Wonder
"A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams."
Dream
"Sex: the thing that takes up the least amount of time and causes the most amount of trouble."
Time
"The trouble with life is that there are so many beautiful women and so little time."
Life
"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open."
Happiness
"When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves."
Boxing
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