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"It's hard to think of yourself as a loser at 2 years old."
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"You can always tell an old soldier by the inside of his holsters and cartridge boxes. The young ones carry pistols and cartridges; the old ones, grub."
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"I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair."
"A new philosophy generally means in practice the praise of some old vice."
"I've been performing on stage since I was six years old."
Explore more quotes by Jeff Foxworthy
"I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family second and you third, we won't ever have an argument."
"If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you might be a redneck."
"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
"Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're not sure what you've got but you're pretty sure you're not going to like it."
"Between New York and LA, there's 200 million people that aren't hip, and they don't want to be hip."
"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
"Pride is the first step in people unraveling and companies unraveling and relationships unraveling."
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