"I will not be misquoted!"

Will,

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"I am not afraid that the book will be controversial, I'm afraid it will not be controversial."

Flannery O'Connor, American Author

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"The Beatles will never get back together and David Lee Roth will never again sing with Van Halen."

Alex Van Halen, American Musician

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"Whether it will convince or not, depends entirely on what it is in itself, what is there to be seen."

Lucian Freud, British Artist

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"I don't really have anything against Will Young or Gareth Gates."

Marc Almond, British Musician

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"Look and you will find it - what is unsought will go undetected."

Sophocles, Greek Poet

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"Every author in some way portrays himself in his works, even if it be against his will."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German Poet

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"I will listen to anyone's convictions, but pray keep your doubts to yourself."

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German Poet

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"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."

Friedrich Nietzsche, German Philosopher

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"Our will is always for our own good, but we do not always see what that is."

Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Swiss Philosopher

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"In short I will part with anything for you but you."

Mary Wortley Montagu, English Writer

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Explore more quotes by Todd Barry

"I was probably just trying to be Dennis Miller, but without the vocabulary to actually be Dennis Miller. I guess I was just less interesting than I am now, if I am interesting at all."

Now

"I love chicken. I would eat chicken fingers on Thanksgiving if it were socially acceptable."

Love

"I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things."

Funny

"I don't really know much about pirates, or pirate culture. I'd be a contrarian pirate."

Culture

"I had some friends that tried it down there, and I went to a couple of open mics, and I just kind of got this... this sick urge to try it instead of just watching it."

Friendship

"I loved Australia. I was very successful there."

Success

"And the goal really is to make the audience laugh, to bring them some joy."

Goal

"If I'm at a party and someone puts on a Blues Brothers tape, I tend to go nuts."

Brother

"I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right."

Thought

"I did end up doing substitute teaching, but there's not a lot of teaching involved in that."

End