top of page
.png){kind=small}
"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
Standard
Customized
Exlpore more Coffee quotes
"Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?"
"Coffee and smoking are the last great addictions."
"I'm here to tell you the coffee was hot, the orange juice was cold, New York's still there and Reagan National is back."
"In the morning we received some very thin coffee. For lunch we had potato soup with a few pieces of meat in it, in the evening we had a very thin meat soup with some potatoes in it."
"Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep."
Explore more quotes by Emo Philips
"I asked my girlfriend, 'Will you marry me?' She said, 'We'll have to ask my father.' So we had a seance and Jack Ruby says, 'Hello!'"
"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."
"Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something."
"I was with this girl the other night and from the way she was responding to my skillful caresses, you would have sworn that she was conscious from the top of her head to the tag on her toes."
"Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil."
"I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson."
bottom of page