"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."

Coffee, First

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"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."

Exlpore more Coffee quotes

"When traveling with someone, take large does of patience and tolerance with your morning coffee."

Helen Hayes, American Actress

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"I began wearing hats as a young lawyer because it helped me to establish my professional identity. Before that, whenever I was at a meeting, someone would ask me to get coffee."

Bella Abzug, American Lawyer

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"Coffee on an airplane always smells bad. Whenever it is served, suddenly the whole cabin stinks of it."

Jonathan Carroll, American Author

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"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."

Paul Erdos, Hungarian Mathematician

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"Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard."

Anne Spencer, American Poet

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"The centuries last passed have also given the taste important extension; the discovery of sugar, and its different preparations, of alcoholic liquors, of wine, ices, vanilla, tea and coffee, have given us flavors hitherto unknown."

Jean Savarin, French Lawyer

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"They say you can smoke 400 cigs a day and drink 20 cups of coffee, but you can't have a line or a drink again."

Ron Wood, British Musician

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"In the morning we received some very thin coffee. For lunch we had potato soup with a few pieces of meat in it, in the evening we had a very thin meat soup with some potatoes in it."

Leon Askin, Austrian Actor

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"Coffee and cigarettes, that's one of my weaknesses."

Jason Behr, American Actor

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"Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?"

Jean Kerr, American Playwright

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Explore more quotes by Emo Philips

"Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy."

Brother

"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."

Worth

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps."

Worth

"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."

Work

"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""

Time

"I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks."

Love

"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."

Friendship

"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."

School

"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."

Life

"My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself."

Reason