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"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
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"I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out at my beautiful garden, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.'"
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Personal Development
"Townes van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world and I'll stand on Bob Dylan's coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that."
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Personal Development
"The centuries last passed have also given the taste important extension; the discovery of sugar, and its different preparations, of alcoholic liquors, of wine, ices, vanilla, tea and coffee, have given us flavors hitherto unknown."
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Personal Development
"Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep."
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Personal Development
"Coffee on an airplane always smells bad. Whenever it is served, suddenly the whole cabin stinks of it."
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Personal Development
"If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning."
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Personal Development
"Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?"
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Personal Development
"In the morning we received some very thin coffee. For lunch we had potato soup with a few pieces of meat in it, in the evening we had a very thin meat soup with some potatoes in it."
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Personal Development
"I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge."
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Personal Development
"Coffee and smoking are the last great addictions."
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Personal Development
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"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
First
"My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have sex quite so often."
Sex
"I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well.""
Time
"You know what I hate? Indian givers... no, I take that back."
Hate
"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."
Missionaries
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
School
"Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps."
Worth
"Well, my brother says Hello. So, hooray for speech therapy."
Brother
"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Life
"I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me."
Day
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