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"When I wake up in the morning, I just can't get started until I've had that first, piping hot pot of coffee. Oh, I've tried other enemas."
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Exlpore more Coffee quotes
"I bought an espresso maker and coffee maker and make them myself every day."
"Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it's hard to go back to sleep."
"In the morning we received some very thin coffee. For lunch we had potato soup with a few pieces of meat in it, in the evening we had a very thin meat soup with some potatoes in it."
"Coffee and smoking are the last great addictions."
"Townes van Zandt is the best songwriter in the whole world and I'll stand on Bob Dylan's coffee table in my cowboy boots and say that."
Explore more quotes by Emo Philips
"I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper."
"When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me."
"Actually, my cd was released in 1985, in return for two German missionaries and a Dutch urologist."
"The way I understand it, the Russians are sort of a combination of evil and incompetence... sort of like the Post Office with tanks."
"At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote."
"In our school you were searched for guns and knifes on the way in and if you didn't have any, they gave you some."
"My jokes are in my head and I have a duplicate copy of my jokes in a lot of British comics' heads, where they are safe."
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