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"There was a small boy of Quebec Who was buried in snow to the neck: When they said 'Are you friz?' He replied 'Yes I is - But we don't call this cold in Quebec!'"
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"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
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Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
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Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
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Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
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Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
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Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
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Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
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Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
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Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
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Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
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"I always prefer to believe the best of everybody, it saves so much trouble."
Trouble
"San Francisco is a mad city - inhabited for the most part by perfectly insane people whose women are of a remarkable beauty."
Beauty
"All the people like us are we, and everyone else is They."
People
"Heaven grant us patience with a man in love."
Love
"If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten."
History
"Asia is not going to be civilized after the methods of the West. There is too much Asia and she is too old."
Old
"One paid for one's knowledge with one's skin."
Education
"The sin they do by two and two they must pay for one by one."
Ethics
"Like everything else in the world, it is one man's work."
Work
"Holden went to his bungalow and began to understand that he was not alone in the world, and also that he was afraid for the sake of another, -- which is the most soul-satisfying fear known to man."
Psychology
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