"To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady."

Bed, Embarrassment, Lady

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"To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady."

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"I've got lots of good friends. I could have affairs. I can read a book all night, put the cat on the end of the bed. I can pick up my passport and go to France. I don't have to ask anybody."

Joanna Lumley, English Actress

Bed, End, France, Friends

"In reality, everyone is good in bed. Close eyes. Shutdown brain. Pause as necessary. Restart brain. Open eyes. What's there to not be good at? Bed is the one place where laziness is rewarded."

John Dobbin, American Artist

Bed, Eyes, Laziness, Open

"I have a toy giraffe on my bed. I've got photographs over my desk as well as a mask of a giraffe in my kitchen. I am totally hooked."

Joanna Lumley, English Actress

Bed, Kitchen

"It's no treat being in bed with me."

Howard Stern, American Entertainer

Bed, Being

"We've never played at this place before. This place is big, and I'm kinda nervous, so we're going to make it feel small by pretending we're in a... bedroom. We'll hang off the edge of the bed, take off our shoes and get naked!"

Dave Matthews, South African Musician

Bed,

"Teens aren't just interested in getting laid. I won't believe that's all they're interested in. I have four younger sisters and they're sick of being shown how they're supposed to react in bed."

Linda Fiorentino, American Actress

Bed, Being, Sisters

"What happens when the guy who runs the reactor gets out of bed wrong or decides, for some reason, that he wants to override his instruction sheet some afternoon?"

David R. Brower, American Environmentalist

Bed, Reason, Wrong

"Teach me to live, that I may dread The grave as little as my bed."

Thomas Ken, English Clergyman

Bed, Grave, May

"When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock."

Jerry Lawler, American Entertainer

Bed, Favorite, Woman, Wrestling

"A bedroom requires a bed. Everything else was extravagance. Well, he had a bed all right."

Audrey Meadows, American Actress

Bed, Extravagance, Right

Explore more quotes by Wilson Mizner

"I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own."

Fortune

"Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished."

Being

"The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in."

Difference

"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."

Education

"The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears."

Power

"I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'"

Lying

"Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down."

People

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Exlpore more Bed quotes

"I've got lots of good friends. I could have affairs. I can read a book all night, put the cat on the end of the bed. I can pick up my passport and go to France. I don't have to ask anybody."

"In reality, everyone is good in bed. Close eyes. Shutdown brain. Pause as necessary. Restart brain. Open eyes. What's there to not be good at? Bed is the one place where laziness is rewarded."

"I have a toy giraffe on my bed. I've got photographs over my desk as well as a mask of a giraffe in my kitchen. I am totally hooked."

"It's no treat being in bed with me."

"We've never played at this place before. This place is big, and I'm kinda nervous, so we're going to make it feel small by pretending we're in a... bedroom. We'll hang off the edge of the bed, take off our shoes and get naked!"

"Teens aren't just interested in getting laid. I won't believe that's all they're interested in. I have four younger sisters and they're sick of being shown how they're supposed to react in bed."

"What happens when the guy who runs the reactor gets out of bed wrong or decides, for some reason, that he wants to override his instruction sheet some afternoon?"

"Teach me to live, that I may dread The grave as little as my bed."

"When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock."

"A bedroom requires a bed. Everything else was extravagance. Well, he had a bed all right."

Explore more quotes by Wilson Mizner

"The first hundred years are the hardest."

"Most hard-boiled people are half-baked."

"The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away."

"I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own."

"Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished."

"The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in."

"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."

"The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears."

"I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'"

"Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down."