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"To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady."
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"As I laid in the hospital bed I started thinking that I had a show to do. I was hoping the Doctor would put me together so I could do the show."

"I lay in the bed at the hospital and said, 'let's see what I have left.' And I could see, I could speak, I could think, I could read. I simply tabulated my blessings, and that gave me a start."

"I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall."
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"Every man I knew went to bed with Gilda... and woke up with me."

"If it weren't for the rocks in its bed, the stream would have no song."
Explore more quotes by Wilson Mizner

"All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long."

"Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him."

"A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune."
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