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Wilson Mizner

"To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady."

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"To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady."

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Akiroq Brost

"I've got lots of good friends. I could have affairs. I can read a book all night, put the cat on the end of the bed. I can pick up my passport and go to France. I don't have to ask anybody."

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Akiroq Brost

"In reality, everyone is good in bed. Close eyes. Shutdown brain. Pause as necessary. Restart brain. Open eyes. What's there to not be good at? Bed is the one place where laziness is rewarded."

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Akiroq Brost

"I have a toy giraffe on my bed. I've got photographs over my desk as well as a mask of a giraffe in my kitchen. I am totally hooked."

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Akiroq Brost

"It's no treat being in bed with me."

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Akiroq Brost

"We've never played at this place before. This place is big, and I'm kinda nervous, so we're going to make it feel small by pretending we're in a... bedroom. We'll hang off the edge of the bed, take off our shoes and get naked!"

Bed,
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Akiroq Brost

"Teens aren't just interested in getting laid. I won't believe that's all they're interested in. I have four younger sisters and they're sick of being shown how they're supposed to react in bed."

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Akiroq Brost

"What happens when the guy who runs the reactor gets out of bed wrong or decides, for some reason, that he wants to override his instruction sheet some afternoon?"

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Akiroq Brost

"Teach me to live, that I may dread The grave as little as my bed."

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Akiroq Brost

"When I'm in bed with a woman, my favorite move is a wrestling hold called the lip lock."

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Akiroq Brost

"A bedroom requires a bed. Everything else was extravagance. Well, he had a bed all right."

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"I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own."
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"Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished."
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"The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in."
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Wilson Mizner
"I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education."
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Wilson Mizner
"The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears."
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Wilson Mizner
"I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'"
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Wilson Mizner
"Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down."
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