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"Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making."
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"The Free State men, myself among them, took it for granted that Missouri was a slave state."

"There is no truer cause of unhappiness amongst men than, where naturally expecting charity and benevolence, they receive harm and vexation."

"Men who are too good looking are never good in bed because they never had to be."

"It's like the riddle of the Sphinx... why are there so many great unmarried women, and no great unmarried men?"
Explore more quotes by Fred Allen

"A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary."

"During the Samuel Johnson days they had big men enjoying small talk; today we have small men enjoying big talk."

"A conference is a gathering of people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done."
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