Shannon L. Alder is an American author and therapist known for her insightful writings on relationships, personal growth, and healing. With over 25 years of experience as a therapist at a rehabilitation hospital in California, she has contributed to more than 300 books and various online publications, including Psychology Today and Huffington Post. Alder's bestselling works include a series of question books and a notable book on narcissism, which gained mainstream attention on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in 2021. She channels all her book royalties towards medical missions in El Salvador and runs uplifting online communities.
"Vulnerability gives us freedom, power and connects us to a network of injured souls. It is through the art of being real that we can heal ourself and others."
"The man that is meant to love you will have a million questions about you, but none will ever ask your value."
"God is the only one that won't disappoint you. Everyone else is percentages of your peace."
"When you are being judged by someone that has no idea who you are always remember this: Dogs always bark at strangers and usually there is always some wacko neighbor that wants to try out their new gun on an intruder."
"The most important journey you will take in your life will usually be the one of self transformation. Often, this is the scariest because it requires the greatest changes, in your life."
"A best friend is someone that will stand in your storm and tell you the lightening is beautiful just to make you realize that your heart was worth getting soaked."
"Never leave a situation unless you know what you needed and what you were never going to get."
"Often those that criticise others reveal what he himself lacks."
"Dignity will only happen when you realize that having someone in your life doesn't validate your worth."
"Some people can't be in your life because they don't have the power to help you improve it. That doesn't mean you don't wish them well, it just means that you are on Chapter ten of your life, when they are on Chapter five. Maybe, it is just enough to meet at the crossroads in life and agree to take separate paths, then with a cheshire grin you both look back and shout, "Beat you to the top of the mountain", followed by the funnest sprint of both of your lives."
"Conformity begins the moment you ignore how you feel for acceptance."
"You are not an option, a choice or a soft place to land after a long battle. You were meant to be the one. If you can wrap yourself around the idea that you are something incredible, then you will stop excusing behavior that rapes your very soul. You were never meant to teach someone to love you. You were meant to be loved."
"Never speak unless you can improve upon the stupidness of people's silence."
"Words don't have the power to hurt you, unless that person meant more to you than you are willing to confess."
"Never sever ties with a family member you once loved. Each of you might be on different spiritual paths, but both trails are leading you home."
"Some people develop a wishbone where their backbone should be."
"People can waste a large amount of their time trying to be accepted by people. Sometimes, God meant for you not to fit. You never know, you may hold the unique perspective that when voiced or demonstrated will change generations."
"Regrets are the last words you speak to your loved ones when you die and the one thing we all fear when we live. I'd rather regret the things I've done and said than regret the things I haven't done or said. It is all the experiences and people you missed out on in life that you will feel the most regretful for in the end. God will forgive you of your mistakes, but there is nothing to forgive if you have never even tried, done or said anything that made a difference in your life or others."
"Self worth is not measured by what you have, no matter how full your life is. Rather, it comes from what you are, how authentically you're really living your life, and how much you are willing to give to something other than your own insecurities."
"The person who says it can't be done is almost always interrupted by the person who is doing it."
"Your heart's strength is measured by how hard it holds on. Your self worth and faith is measured by finally letting go. However, your peace is measured by how long you don't look back."
"There are many things evil people can take from you. However, they can never steal your ability to laugh and laugh loud."
"You don't walk away to prove your worth. You walk away because you allowed someone else to dictate your value and you found yourself believing it."
"Live is not about constantly fighting to keep someone in your life. It is about constantly fighting for a better life together."
"God's plan will never look easy when you are sitting in hell. KEEP MOVING!"
"Your need to feel significant will never be met, until you can conquer your fear and manage your focus."
"Every woman thinks they are the special person that was forordained to change a man. Do you really think you are better than all the women that tried? Don't marry someone with the arrogant thought your spirituality will magically transform people. Instead, live in such a way that you don't have to change or convince anyone of your worthiness."