"I firmly believe in marriage. It's a real important decision that takes a lot of dedication and time. If you're thinking about divorce. You shouldn't get married."

"All of my activities are so pedestrian. The extreme sport I play is ping pong. And we play it hard. If any of you suckers want to step up to the table, be ready."

"There's no greater way to gain an audience's sympathy than by being unfortunate."

"It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny."

"I'm not interested in becoming a bigger star, I'm not interested in being the wealthiest guy in the world. I'm doing fine, I love acting, and I want to do it for the rest of my life."