"Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected."

"If I lose show business - I'll really be an orphan!"

"Then, there was Cary Grant. He spent three hours a week in hospitals teaching nervous people how to eat jello."

"There is only one goal. That's to keep working and keep flossing."

"I'll tell you the truth; I wanted to leave me for Sid Caesar."

"I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping."

"When people ask me if Dean Martin drank, let me put it this way. If Dracula bit Dean in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary."