"A broken heart is what makes life so wonderful five years later, when you see the guy in an elevator and he is fat and smoking a cigar and saying long-time-no-see."

"For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda."

"If you haven't had at least a slight poetic crack in the heart, you have been cheated by nature."

"A reporter discovers, in the course of many years of interviewing celebrities, that most actors are more attractive behind a spotlight than over a spot of tea."