"Being sober on a bus is, like, totally different than being drunk on a bus."

"What is this? It's music to get a brain seizure by."

"Whenever I have a bad day I just think of these people."

"What is the world coming to?"

"I cannot turn down this incredible honor twice."

"Somebody said to me this morning, 'To what do you attribute your longevity?' I don't know. I mean, I couldn't have planned my life out better. By all accounts I should be dead! The abuse I put my body through: the drugs, the alcohol, the lifestyle I've lived the last 30 years!"

"I am a raging alcoholic and a raging addict and I didn't want to see my kids do the same thing."