"Our children await Christmas presents like politicians getting in election returns: there's the Uncle Fred precinct and the Aunt Ruth district still to come in."

"Eating without conversation is only stoking."

"A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by a mother who sees that the others get it."

"A sparkling house is a fine thing if the children aren't robbed of their luster in keeping it that way."

"When a man does a household job, he goes through three periods: contemplating how it will be done; contemplating when it will be done; and contemplating."

"Weather means more when you have a garden. There's nothing like listening to a shower and thinking how it is soaking in around your green beans."

"One sure way to lose another woman's friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements."

"No one knows his true character until he has run out of gas, purchased something on the installment plan and raised an adolescent."

"Housekeeping is like being caught in a revolving door."

"The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her."

"Life begins when a person first realizes how soon it will end."

"Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires."

"If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents."

"Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves."