"Middle age is when a guy keeps turning off lights for economical rather than romantic reasons."

"Sure I'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself someday."

"Jimmy says he'll never tell a lie. Well, I lie all the time. 1 have to - to balance the family ticket."

"Every time I think that I am getting old, and gradually going to the grave, something else happens."

"I love all my children, but some of them I don't like."

"I know folks all have a tizzy about it, but I like a little bourbon of an evening. It helps me sleep. I don't much care what they say about it."

"If I had one wish for my children, it would be that each of them would reach for goals that have meaning for them as individuals."

"We may not return the affection of those who like us, but we always respect their good judgment."