"Why can't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone."

"Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did."

"Be kind to people on the way up - you'll meet them again on your way down."

"Man is the only animal that can be skinned more than once."

"Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down."

"I hate music, especially when it's played."

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."