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Conan O'Brien

"In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union."

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"In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union."

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Donna Grant

"Often people display a curious respect for a man drunk, rather like the respect of simple races for the insane... There is something awe-inspiring in one who has lost all inhibitions."

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Donna Grant

"The last resort of kings, the cannonball. The last resort of the people, the paving stone."

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Donna Grant

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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Donna Grant

"There are bad people who would be less dangerous if they were quite devoid of goodness."

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Donna Grant

"I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal."

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Donna Grant

"There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating - people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing."

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Donna Grant

"We confess our little faults to persuade people that we have no large ones."

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Donna Grant

"Some people break promises for the pleasure of breaking them."

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Donna Grant

"I do give books as gifts sometimes, when people would rather have one than a new Ferrari."

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Donna Grant

"If something in your writing gives support to people in their lives, that's more than just entertainment-which is what we writers all struggle to do, to touch people."

Explore more quotes by Conan O'Brien

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Conan O'Brien
"In Cleveland there is legislation moving forward to ban people from wearing pants that fit too low. However, there is lots of opposition from the plumber' union."
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Conan O'Brien
"In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man because he was completely out of breath."
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Conan O'Brien
"Fish recognize a bad leader."
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Conan O'Brien
"Earlier today, Arnold Schwarzenegger criticized the California school system, calling it disastrous. Arnold says California's schools are so bad that its graduates are willing to vote for me."
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Conan O'Brien
"Pamela Anderson Lee released a statement confirming that she has had her breast implants removed. Doctors say that Pamela is doing fine and that her old implants are now dating Charlie Sheen."
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Conan O'Brien
"Officials at the White House are saying that President Bush hasn't changed his schedule much since the war started. The main difference, they say, is that he's started watching the news and taping Sponge Bob."
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Conan O'Brien
"In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this is a quote, the research could help cure brain diseases like Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and whatever it is I have."
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Conan O'Brien
"President Bush left for Canada today to attend a trade summit. Reportedly, the trade summit got off to an awkward start when the president pulled out his baseball cards."
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Conan O'Brien
"In New York, we had primary elections for mayor. To improve their chances, all five candidates changed their name to Rudy Giuliani."
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Conan O'Brien
"Apparently Arnold was inspired by President Bush, who proved you can be a successful politician in this country even if English is your second language."
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