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"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."
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"I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"So for a year I spent all my time hiding from Jack Charlton in the car park practising my skills."
Author Name
Personal Development
"In real life, one of my friends was killed in a car accident during our sophomore year."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The car trip can draw the family together, as it was in the days before television when parents and children actually talked to each other."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Be able to back up a car for a considerable distance in a straight line and back out of a driveway."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I have a Volvo S60R and it's a pretty fast car, the R says it all."
Author Name
Personal Development
"People don't understand that it was maybe my biggest pleasure to drive an F1 car when it's wet."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We also listen to PJ Harvey; a lot of driving music. You need something a little more relaxing in the car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I started out by believing God for a newer car than the one I was driving. I started out believing God for a nicer apartment than I had. Then I moved up."
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Personal Development
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"The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot."
Computer
"Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you can repeat words! And they don't even have to be true!"
Job
"You're only young once but you can always be immature."
Humor
"We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that we know of no better system, except possibly flipping a coin."
Nation
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
Humor
"The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes."
Religion
"Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is reading my column."
Chance
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
Society
"If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland."
Humor
"The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter."
Sports
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