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"Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down."
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"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
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Personal Development
"Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments."
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Personal Development
"I promise you a police car on every sidewalk."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The hydrogen powered car, with its high fuel mileage and zero emission rate, is just one example of the products under development that will help increase our energy independence."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Why do people talk of the horrors of old age? It's great. I feel like a fine old car with the parts gradually wearing out, but I'm not complaining,... Those who find growing old terrible are people who haven't done what they wanted with their lives."
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Personal Development
"Stay humble. Always answer your phone - no matter who else is in the car."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys."
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Personal Development
"Most of us would never consider getting our car repaired without first receiving an estimate of the charges, but this is exactly what we do when we need to go to a hospital for treatment."
Author Name
Personal Development
"America... just a nation of two hundred million used car salesmen with all the money we need to buy guns and no qualms about killing anybody else in the world who tries to make us uncomfortable."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Just because you put higher-octane gasoline in your car doesn't mean you can break the speed limit. The speed limit's still 65."
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Personal Development
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"Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear."
Car
"We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective."
Society
"Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it."
Life
"It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for the opportunity to rain on a tent."
Travel
"I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer."
Purpose
"Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting."
Humor
"And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a new place to try to get to, and they came up with a new concept: the West."
Society
"American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it."
Humor
"Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators."
Cause
"As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula."
Humor
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