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Russell Baker

"Americans like fat books and thin women."

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"Americans like fat books and thin women."

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"Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked."

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"Women are like teabags. We don't know our true strength until we are in hot water!"

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"There are some women whose pregnancy would make some sly bachelor smile."

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"Because I have work to care about, it is possible that I may be less difficult to get along with than other women when the double chins start to form."

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"Most women's magazines simply try to mold women into bigger and better consumers."

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"No compliment can be eloquent, except as an expression of indifference."

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"The real ornament of a woman is her character, her purity."

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"In our society, the women who break down barriers are those who ignore limits."

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"I entered the cosmetics industry because I wanted more women to use cosmetics made with safe, healthful ingredients."

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"The truth is, I often like women. I like their unconventionality. I like their completeness. I like their anonymity."

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Russell Baker
"Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure in events that dismay the rest of humanity."
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Russell Baker
"Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it."
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"Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when age finally stirs their curiosity, there is no parent left to tell them."
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"Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things."
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"Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity."
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Russell Baker
"People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately."
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Russell Baker
"Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity."
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Russell Baker
"It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except in the wallet inevitably becomes uneconomic."
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"Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do it."
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Russell Baker
"You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart."
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