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"I admit I was drinking a Guinness... but I did not swallow."
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"I'm the kind of person who'll have a few drinks and fall asleep at 11."
"Those persons who suffer from indigestion, or who become drunk, are utterly ignorant of the true principles of eating and drinking."
"But I think that the most important thing was to really stop drinking."
"I get really saucy after a few drinks. Sexy rude, not obnoxious rude."
"I'm taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I don't know if I'm coming or going."
"When animators weren't sleeping, they were drinking."
Explore more quotes by Kinky Friedman
"We're first on executions. We're 49th in funding public education. We're in a race with Mississippi for the bottom, and we're winning."
"These days, there are many people around the world who listen to the songs that made me infamous and read the books that made me respectable."
"If Willie Nelson had been Rosa Parks, there never would have been a civil rights movement in this country, because he refuses to leave the back of the bus."
"Well, I just said that Jesus and I were both Jewish and that neither of us ever had a job, we never had a home, we never married and we traveled around the countryside irritating people."
"You have to pretend that your life is a financial pleasure even when your autographs are bouncing."
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