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"People would say, Can we develop a sitcom around you? and I would say, Not interested. I'm very happy doing standup and writing and taking my kids to school."
People
"I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of a weird set to try to put together."
President
"The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, drop them off at the wrong house."
Job
"I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to deduct 100 IQ points."
People
"If you ever start feeling like you have the goofiest, craziest, most dysfunctional family in the world, all you have to do is go to a state fair. Because five minutes at the fair, you'll be going, 'you know, we're alright. We are dang near royalty.'"
Family
"I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of the people are good folks. The rest of them take after the other side of the family."
Family
"If men have a smell it's usually an accident."
Men
"Watching a baby being born is a little like watching a wet St. Bernard coming in through the cat door."
Baby
"Nothing in life prepares you to be famous."
Life
"You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand."
Goal
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"The moon has been loving us with her dreamy smile for billions of years, but still she is not tired."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The moon is the same but the observers are different."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The moon is beautiful only when the mind is seeking beauty and the heart is loving."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The moon is very charming, alluring, attracting and magical, not because of its beauty, but because of its illusion and reflection of change."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The moon is the lighthouse of love, and as changing as a woman's mind."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The Dark Side of the Moon is a fine album with a textural and conceptual richness that not only invites, but demands involvement. There is a certain grandeur."
Author Name
Personal Development
"We knew it was going to be difficult to get to the moon. We didn't know how difficult."
Author Name
Personal Development
"It was night and I could see a large and calm lake, reflecting the moon. Black mountains rose around it. I arrived from between two of these mountains, I looked at the lake and the moon, and that was it, nothing else happened."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Tonight I'm going to shower and then just walk for about four hours and look at the moon."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The moon teaches us that darkness can't hide the beauty of life if we know how to reflect beauty."
Author Name
Personal Development
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