top of page
.png){kind=small}
"Admiration: Our polite recognition of another man's resemblance to ourselves."
Standard
Customized
More
"Fool me once, shame on youfool me twice, shame on mefool me thrice, I'm gonna get the frying pan!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"As a comedian, the more you commit the sin of stupidity, three essential things happen to your life:~people applaud you incessantly.~love you more than their parents.~give you a daily bread."
Author Name
Personal Development
"One who has both feet firmly planted in the air."
Author Name
Personal Development
"My religion consists of laughing at myself. My motto is this: As long as there is a me, there is a reason to laugh out loud!"
Author Name
Personal Development
"Well, that depends, I suppose. I heard someone once say that men dance the same way they have sex. So, if you want everyone here to think you're the kind of guy who just sits around and-" He stood up. "Let's dance."
Author Name
Personal Development
"The cleverest woman finds a need for foolish admirers."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I was my own boss, but that all changed the day I got married."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Could you hold the chainsaw a bit closer to your mouth, please?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"I went to the kitchen and felt-up the turkey."
Author Name
Personal Development
More
"To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice."
Positive
"Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage."
Marriage
"Suffrage, noun. Expression of opinion by means of a ballot. The right of suffrage (which is held to be both a privilege and a duty) means, as commonly interpreted, the right to vote for the man of another man's choice, and is highly prized."
Choice
"Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic."
Art
"Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue."
Virtue
"I believe we shall come to care about people less and less. The more people one knows the easier it becomes to replace them. It's one of the curses of London."
People
"Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure."
Failure
"Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm."
Man
"Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third."
Politics
"Backbite. To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you."
Man
bottom of page