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"I think NASCAR's coming to Canada now so it'll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid."
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"Canada has given us John Candy and Martin Short and Bill Shatner and Lord knows how many other wonderful performers."
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"Here in Canada, in the Western world, we are inside the walls. Outside the walls are the barbarians."
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"From that moment on, there will be an irreversible process to separate Quebec from Canada."
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"Canada is like an old cow. The West feeds it. Ontario and Quebec milk it. And you can well imagine what it's doing in the Maritimes."
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"The joke newspaper, it says Canada abandons the monarchy."
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"I think it's a little early to tell what the economic impact will be. This year our cattle prices have been particularly high. The demand for beef has remained strong in this country, even though there was the single find in Canada earlier this year."
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"The Canadians have managed to live peacefully with their Indians. It is disgrace that the United States has not done the same."
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"Actually, in this instance we do have probably a better tracking system than was the instance in Canada. Because this is a dairy cow, they're all individually tagged."
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"I think NASCAR's coming to Canada now so it'll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid."
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"Scotland is the Canada of England!"
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"A lot of funny stuff happens in Canada."
Funny


"If it wasn't for what goes on in the world of politics, we wouldn't really have much of a show."
Politics


"It's not every day people fly you to New York for auditions."
People


"It was only a few years ago that I couldn't get hired to save my life."
Life


"I learn something in the interviews from time to time."
Time


"There are some people who believe that these are not real stories with real people, but they actually are."
People


"Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people."
People


"I think the show does better with newsmakers and politicians than it does with actors."
Actor


"I think NASCAR's coming to Canada now so it'll take on a whole new relevance. Be afraid."
Canada


"Don't judge me. I made a lot of money."
Money
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