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"They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters."
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"Punctuality is the thief of time."
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Personal Development
"I come here with no expectations, only to profess, now that I am at liberty to do so, that my heart is and always will be...yours."
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Personal Development
"Satire is a lesson, parody is a game."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Oh, brothers! I don't care for brothers. My elder brother won't die, and my younger brothers seem never to do anything else."
Author Name
Personal Development
"I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous."
Author Name
Personal Development
"Carnal embrace is the practice of throwing one's arms around a side of beef."
Author Name
Personal Development
"What are you doing in a fast lane, snail?"
Author Name
Personal Development
"He wondered reflectively what would happen if you asked a nun where the Gents was. Probably the Pope sent you a sharp note or something."
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Personal Development
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy."
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Personal Development
"Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index."
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Personal Development
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"The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."
Flying
"Just because you see something, it doesn't mean to say it's there. And if you don't see something, it doesn't mean to say it's not there. It's only what your senses bring to your attention."
Awareness
"Aberystwyth (n.)A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for."
Sentiment
"Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City."
Belief
"A five-week sand blizzard?" said Deep Thought haughtily. "You ask this of me who have contemplated the very vectors of the atoms in the Big Bang itself? Molest me not with this pocket calculator stuff."
Science
"He let the curtain drop and the terrible light that had played on his features went off to play somewhere more healthy."
Emotion
"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?"
Imagination
"What to do if you find yourself stuck in a crack in the ground underneath a giant boulder you can't move, with no hope of rescue. Consider how lucky you are that life has been good to you so far. Alternatively, if life hasn't been good to you so far, which given your current circumstances seems more likely, consider how lucky you are that it won't be troubling you much longer."
Life
"Ever since Newton, we've done science by taking things apart to see how they work. What the computer enables us to do is to put things together to see how they work: we're now synthesized rather than analysed. I find one of the most enthralling aspects of computers is limitless communication."
Science
"If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond. And many of course don't. It's like a human body, you see. A few cuts and bruises here and there don't hurt it. Not even major surgery if it's done properly. Paradoxes are just the scar tissue. Time and space heal themselves up around them and people simply remember a version of events which makes as much sense as they require it to make."
Universe
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