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"If you say a modern celebrity is an adulterer, a pervert and a drug addict, all it means is that you've read his autobiography."
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"Autobiography is probably the most respectable form of lying."
"An autobiography is the story of how a man thinks he lived."
"I'm also doing a special for Comedy Central called Autobiography. It's going to be a spoof of Biography."
"And then I wrote my first autobiography when I - well, it was 23 years ago. And since then I've written about one book every two years."
"Just as there is nothing between the admirable omelet and the intolerable, so with autobiography."
"I might go on discussing this subject at great length, but after all is said, done, and written, my own book of experiences will best show what these obstacles are, and how I managed to overcome them to some extent."
"I have a children's book already out and my autobiography."
"I spent most of this afternoon writing a new introduction for my autobiography."
"I've been working on my autobiography, just pecking away in longhand. The more you write, the more you remember. The more you remember, the more detail you recall. It's not all pleasant!"
Explore more quotes by P. J. O'Rourke
"Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores are us."
"I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a "learning experience." Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a "learning experience." It makes me feel less stupid."
"Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue."
"Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us."
"America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased."
"Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power."
"Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce."
"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."
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