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"I lost that excitement I had when I first started out. It was all about the need to just get a job, and so I found the joy again when I was writing Deuce Bigelow. I was laughing so hard and along with my writing partner at the time, simply laughing until we cried."
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"Worrying about what happened on Monday, or, what might happen on Wednesday, is at the expense of one's Tuesday."

"Time interval is a strange and contradictory matter in the mind. It would be reasonable to suppose that a routine time or an eventless time would seem interminable. It should be so, but it is not. It is the dull eventless times that have no duration whatever. A time splashed with interest, wounded with tragedy, crevassed with joy - that's the time that seems long in the memory. And this is right when you think about it. Eventlessness has no posts to drape duration on. From nothing to nothing is no time at all."

"Time is needed to convert all ideas and added values into the tangible products that benefits the world."

"Opinion is like a pendulum and obeys the same law. If it goes past the centre of gravity on one side, it must go a like distance on the other; and it is only after a certain time that it finds the true point at which it can remain at rest."

"I'm proud of being part Cherokee, and I think it's time all us Indians felt the same way."

"Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go."

"Many works of the ancients have become fragments. Many works of the moderns are fragments at the time of their origin."
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"Whoever thinks of going to bed before twelve o'clock is a scoundrel."
Explore more quotes by Rob Schneider


"First of all, weren't all the best beatings in the trailer for "The Passion of the Christ"? I hate when the trailer gives away all the best stuff."


"Studio people are idiots. Until they see someone else doing it and make a success of it, they don't open their minds. Most of them are idiots."


"I try not to worry about what that's going to look like. If you worry about looking stupid, that's when you look really stupid."


"A woman can laugh and cry in three seconds and it's not weird. But if a man does it, it's very disturbing. The way I'd describe it is like this: I have been allowed inside the house of womanhood, but I feel that they wouldn't let me in any of the interesting rooms."


"I lost that excitement I had when I first started out. It was all about the need to just get a job, and so I found the joy again when I was writing Deuce Bigelow. I was laughing so hard and along with my writing partner at the time, simply laughing until we cried."
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