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David Letterman

"Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."

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"Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are about 90% water."

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Asa Don Brown

"It is not true that people are naturally equal for no two people can be together for even a half an hour without one acquiring an evident superiority over the other."

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"Do you genuinely love people? Or at least make an effort to like them? Your first impressions will be made easier and more successful when you start with your heart."

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"People will not remember what you did for living,they will remember how you touched them with kindness and loving."

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"He makes people pleased with him by making them first pleased with themselves."

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"People are always good company when they are doing what they really enjoy."

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"No good opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible."

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"With most people disbelief in a thing is founded on a blind belief in some other thing."

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"There are three categories of people exist in the world; "the wanters", "the wishers" and "the makers."

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"Some people bear three kinds of trouble - the ones they've had, the ones they have, and the ones they expect to have."

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"Clinton... believes that the Washington Press Corps is so out of touch that it is absolutely inconceivable that reporters would understand the issues that people are really dealing with in their lives."

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David Letterman
"Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?"
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"People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab. One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine."
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"Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno."
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"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel."
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"President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?"
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"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag."
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David Letterman
"USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population."
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David Letterman
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either."
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David Letterman
"We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since this guy has gotten laid in the private sector."
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David Letterman
"The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts."
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