"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."

Humor, Mathematics, Chance, Error

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"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."

Exlpore more Humor quotes

"Laughter comes later, like wisdom teeth. And laughter at yourself comes last of all in a mad race with death. And sometimes, it isn't in time."

John Steinbeck, American Author

Humor, Laughter, Wisdom, Mortality

"Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valleys of silliness."

Ludwig Wittgenstein, Austrian Philosopher

Humor, Cleverness

"Pessimist - one who when he has the choice of two evils chooses both."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Pessimism, Evil, Choice, Irony

"Pardon my French if you're a religious man.''I am,' Bill said, grinning.'Then get outta my cab and go to fucking church,' the cabbie said, and they both burst out laughing."

Stephen King, American Author

Humor, Faith, Truth, Wisdom

"Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? Youtake delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.""You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. Theyare my old friends. I have heard you mention them with considerationthese last twenty years at least."

Jane Austen, British Writer

Humor, Marriage, Family, Nerves

"The educated Southerner has no use for an 'R', except at the beginning of a word."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, Beginning, Word

"You can be a little ungrammatical if you come from the right part of the country."

Robert Frost, American Poet

Humor, Country, Right

"April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four."

Mark Twain, American Author

Humor, April, Fool, Day

"Did you hear what I was playing, Lane?I didn't think it polite to listen, sir."

Oscar Wilde, Irish Dramatist

Humor, Politeness, Listening, Conversation

"Never try to out-stubborn a cat."

Robert A. Heinlein, American Writer

Humor, Animals, Cats, Wisdom

Explore more quotes by Ambrose Bierce

"Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay."

Life

"Duty - that which sternly impels us in the direction of profit, along the line of desire."

Desire

"Prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support."

Society

"Experience - the wisdom that enables us to recognise in an undesirable old acquaintance the folly that we have already embraced."

Wisdom

"Prejudice - a vagrant opinion without visible means of support."

Opinion

"Painting n: the art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic."

Painting

"Bigot: One who is obstinately and zealously attached to an opinion that you do not entertain."

Opinion

"An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in me."

Vanity

"Admiration: Our polite recognition of another man's resemblance to ourselves."

Humor

"Pray v: to ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."

Prayer