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"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall."
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"Balls should be good for at least six sets, and for more for the average player. But if the rallies are long, they do not last as long as this. There is a fuzz on the surface that wears off on the hard court."
"I had not picked up a tennis racket in 15 years, so I tried."
"I've been playing tennis, and just whatever sport is in front of me I will do."
"I call tennis the McDonald's of sport - you go in, they make a quick buck out of you, and you're out."
"Anybody who can dial a telephone can master tennis scoring in about 15 minutes."
"One of the greatest joys of tennis is having a nice volley and not really keeping score, not really looking at the lines, but just catching up with each other."
"Venus told me the other day that champions don't get nervous in tight situations. That really helped me a lot. I decided I shouldn't get nervous and just do the best I can."
Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg
"My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'"
"My sister wanted to be an actress, but she never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. She's an actress, she just never gets called to the set."
"People teach their dogs to sit; it's a trick. I've been sitting my whole life, and a dog has never looked at me as though he thought I was tricky."
"It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky."
"Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show."
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