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Exlpore more Humor quotes
"Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual."
"Unless you stop him. Perhaps next we meet.""You'll be just as annoying?" I guessed.He fixed my with those warm brown eyes. "Or perhaps you could bring me up to speed on those modern courtship rituals."I sat there stunned until he gave me a glimpse of a smile-just enough to let me know he was teasing. Then he disappeared."Oh, very funny!" I yelled."
"The Fool held his breath. On long nights on the hard flagstones he had dreamed of women like her. Although, if he really thought about it, not much like her; they were better endowed around the chest, their noses weren't so red and pointed, and their hair tended to flow more. But the Fool's libido was bright enough to tell the difference between the impossible and the conceivably attainable, and hurriedly cut in some filter circuits."
"D'yer see it? This finger, laddie, could send ye to meet yer Maker!Sgt. Deisenburger stared at the black and purple nail a few inches from his face. As an offensive weapon it rated quite highly, especially if it was ever used in the preparation of food."
"Showing off is more ridiculous in instances where the thing that is being shown off was bought on credit."
"It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating," said the Queen presently. "What would you like best to eat?""Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty," said Edmund."
"Hey, guard! Ian hollered out loud. "Do you think we could get a bathroom break? The guard seemed to snicker as he pointed to the grass outside the cell. Eena smirked at how dead-on her thoughts had been after all. "Come on, Ian complained. "She can't do that, she's a girl. The soldier smiled wryly, a shrug communicating his indifference. Eena laughed in her mind. (I don't know what you think's so funny. You're the one who's gotta pee.) Oddly enough, that fact just made her laugh even more."
"I HAVE MADE THIS FOR YOU. She reached out and took a damp square of cardboard. Water dripped off the bottom. Somewhere in the middle, a few brown feathers seemed to have been glued on. 'Thank you. Er ... what is it?'ALBERT SAID THERE OUGHT TO BE SNOW ON IT, BUT IT APPEARS TO HAVE MELTED, said Death. IT IS, OF COURSE, A HOGSWATCH CARD.'Oh ...' THERE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A ROBIN ON IT AS WELL, BUT I HAD CONSIDERABLE DIFFICULTY IN GETTING IT TO STAY ON. 'Ah...'IT WAS NOT AT ALL COOPERATIVE.'Really ...?'IT DID NOT SEEM TO GET INTO THE HOGSWATCH SPIRIT AT ALL."
Explore more quotes by Simone Elkeles
"Dont ruin my balls!' She laughs as the words leave her mouth.Better yours than mine, chica.' I toss the dough balls at her, one by one, until I've got none left."
"Expectations make people miserable, so whatever yours are, lower them. You'll definitely be happier."
"Fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class - Hope your surgery went well!"
"Just so you know, I'm goin' to enlist.'I'm proud of you. But why?I groan against the pain but manage to give him a half smile. 'I want to make sure Kiara's got a boyfriend who has more to offer than a hot bod and a face that could make angels weep."
"Doing something positive will help turn your mood around. When you smile, your body relaxes. When you experience human touch and interaction, it eases tension in your body."
"I lead Paco through the house. We pass Shelley in the family room looking at some magazine. 'Shelley, this is Paco. He's Alex's friend. Paco, this is my sister, Shelley.'At the mention of Alex's name, Shelley gives a happy squeal.'Hey, Shelley,' Paco says.Shelley smiles wide.'Shell-bell, I need you to do me a favor.' Shelley bobs her head in response as I whisper, 'I need you to keep Mom occupied while I talk to Paco.'Shelley grins, and I know my sister will come through for me."
"Thoughts of being a pirate and stealing her away to my ship race across my mind. Although I'm not a pirate, and she's not my captured princess."
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