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"I really look at my childhood as being one giant rusty tuna can that I continue to recycle in many different shapes."
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"There are advantages to being a star though - you can always get a table in a full restaurant."

"Don't bother about being modern. Unfortunately it is the one thing that, whatever you do, you cannot avoid."

"So what is discord at one level of your being is harmony at another level."

"I go straight from thinking about my narrator to being him."

"Being a press secretary is like learning to type: You're hunting and pecking for a while and then you find yourself doing the touch system and don't realize it. You're speaking for the president without ever having to go to him."
Explore more quotes by Augusten Burroughs

"I was in advertising for years. That was cushy, you know? It's pretty cushy in a lot of ways, but I hated it."

"When people meet me, many times they're very surprised because they expect someone who is kind of wacky with seven piercings and very hip and cool and New York City, and I'm not."

"I think writers tend to be experience junkies, and I think they also tend to want to be on the outside looking in."

"The secret to being a writer is that you have to write. It's not enough to think about writing or to study literature or plan a future life as an author. You really have to lock yourself away, alone, and get to work."

"As a child, I was never drawn toward depraved or extreme situations; I really wanted a normal little childhood. Unfortunately, that's just not what happened."

"Before I'm a writer, I'm definitely a reader and when I read memoir, I really want it to be true."

"I was on the cover of a lot of newspapers. I was on the cover of USA Today for every single day for a month. I was on the masthead, so I tend to get recognized a lot, and in weird places. It's always flattering, and it's always odd. It's always at the worst possible time."
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